For Comedy Relief Only-Completely Fictional-No Animals Hurt

Beautiful Arizona
Just moved to Arizona! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th
Fell asleep by the community pool (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and bits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $500 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $350,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.

Aug. 8th
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Darn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my arse was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a darn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do crap for 2 darn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this darn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,300 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this darn heat.

Aug. 14th

Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 122 today. Cacti are dead. Forgot to crack the window and blew the darn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. $$$*****g Arizona. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes…

Arizona Bound

Well I have been away from my husband for nearly a month now and it is finally time to go home. I've gathered all the necessary paperwork, packed all my mother’ belongings, and now its only one thing left to do - tell her we are going.

Well the thing is how to tell her we are going to live with me; this is a woman who never wants to re-locate from where she has lived for over 50 years. She often tells me that she wants to live in her house till she dies and she would never move. Who could blame her she is leaving the only place that she has called home with her husband for so many years and now she is being told she has to go.
This is a very painful and a bitter pill for her to swallow in which I understand and sympathize with her. Her safety comes first with me making my decision a very easy one.

A Nursing home is OUT OF THE QUESTION I will not put my mother in one of those places, and she did not want a nurse because she did not want a stranger to live with her. This left her with only one option and that was to live with me. I do have a brother who lives in Atlanta but we both agreed that coming with me would be the best choice.
So now back to my issue, what to tell mommy? If I tell the truth, oh man; that will not be good she would want to argue and I already went through and learned my lesson. I knew I would have to come up with something that she could live with. I got it!! Mommy we are going on vacation! Let’s just get away for a while and think about what the doctor said later and just have fun for a while. This is what I told her and she accepted it and she was just as happy as she could be about getting away by visiting me. The plane ride was wonderful, the drive on the way to the house was great and relaxing, but it was all about to change.

The real trouble started the next day.

And So It Starts

Well we are going to the doctor’s office today to have test done to determine that it is dementia and not something else. We wound up getting 3 different opinions all of which ended with the same results.

The hardest thing for me was to observe what my poor mother had to endure trying to remember the simplest things that she should already know. The doctor had asked her a question and I tried to jog her memory to help her but the doctor said she had to do it on her own. She gave me the saddest look and I told her sorry I can’t help but you can do it; this way she would not feel so bad. Me, I was dying inside, it was so heart wrenching to watch her struggle and look so helpless. The end results were even more devastating the prognosis was dementia.

The doctors told me to have my mother to get affairs in order and make future living arrangements for her safety. For me it was no problem she was going to live with me. Now her feeling on the matter was a completely different story. I took all of the information I gathered, got the POA (power of attorney), had mommy sign all necessary documents while I structured a plan.

Tomorrow is going to be a very difficult and a very emotional one; I have to tell her that she is going to leave her home of over 50 years and move in with me.

I'm Home

So I arrive home to find things were not in tack like my last visit. I had a lot of work to do. Bills needed to be paid and my mother did not realize that her health insurance payment was over due. This situation was so bad. I needed to figure out what steps I needed to take first.

I did my own assessment of mommy and I could see that she was slowly becoming a shell of my mother and fading away. This disease is so cruel and it slowly strips one of themselves leaving only a shell of what the person used to be.

First, the nurse had said mommy should never drive again I had to be the one to tell her again and enforce that decision.

Second, I had to take mommy to a doctor to get a proper diagnosis and get her on medication a sap.

Third, get an attorney so I may become the POA for decision making and proper medical care decisions.

Lastly, no longer drive – oh boy, and there will be more bad news for her on the way, and I had to be the one to tell her.

My Sad Journey Home

My aunt came for a visit and agreed to remain there till I arrived because she should not at this point be left alone. She could no longer tolerate the nurse being there as well in which sent up several red flags; something just was not right.

So sadly I got it, I was on my way home.

My Mommy

A Daughters Journey

Wow where do I start? Well I would say in the year of 2003. This is when everything changed for my mother and she began to decline in many ways.

During my father’s illness with emphysema he was consuming several medications all of which my mother knew well. What their interactions were, the doses, time for each dose to be taken, mommy knew it all.

February 13, 2003 my father passed away and it was the worse day of our lives. I flew home from Arizona to Chicago to plan and attend my father’s funeral. During this time while home other than being stricken with grief, I did not notice anything unusual about her. Not only did she have to contend with the loss of her husband but she hip replacement surgery to recover from as well.

Later on during the year is when the calls started coming about mommy’s behavior. Repeating things over again, misplacing belongings, and forgetting things, was reported to me that my mother was doing on a daily basis. At the time my daughter was living with her and noticed these behaviors as well as other family members. I told myself that her actions were due to her age and grief and it was not as serious as that and not to worry.

My cousin spoke to me about her and mentioned I should consider a nurse to come in to help her while my daughter was not home. Well my mother did not like that idea at all having the nurse around but she soon began to accept the help. The nurse now began to call with progress reports of my mother in which confirmed what my family was telling me. She tests her driving skills as well and she got lost just from going around her home. I needed to plan a trip; it was time for me to go home.

Children

I have found that children are the best thing ever till they become teenagers then they are from another planet. Then sometime down the road comes the grandchildren every parent’s dream of at least for me.

There are no words for grandchildren they can do no wrong and are beyond precious. I can hear my daughters saying "hey mommy if we did that when we were kids we would have gotten into trouble" implying that I let the grand babies get away with murder. Well I do.

I was a single mother rearing two girls and for the life of me I look back and I wonder how I did it. Later in life I was blessed to re-marry and inherit 3 additional children.

As I watched them grow I've heard them say enough things that would give a comedian enough material for 20 years. In thinking back, when I was there ages I remember asking my father: Daddy when the Cubs grow up are they going to be Bears? I am speaking of the Chicago Cubs baseball and Chicago Bears football teams. My friend used to believe that when it thundered that God was re-arranging the furniture. Out of the mouths of babes, just hilarious.

Now that they have grown older they have developed quirks that I just find unbelievable and I do not know where they got it from. One baby does not like anyones feet to touch her or having them even touched by others, can you believe that? Another baby eats her food one item at a time because she likes no mixture of her food of any kind.

By the way let me explain I call all of children babies, they have gotten used to it so now it is baby one - four (we lost one son) at the age of only 21.

So you tell me what kind of quirks do your children have?

Meet The Family

My wonderful step-daughter mother and the best father-in-law a daughter could have ever asked for. He passed away this year. My heart broke for a second time. This is my daughter's graduation from high school last year. She is now a sophomore in college.


This pretty one is the oldest daughter who is also a college graduate with a degree in Science and is continuing her college education as well to become a nurse.

This is the baby, of my beautiful daughters. Smart, college graduate and attending graduate school with a major in Psychology and will be going into the FBI.





This is my very handsome step-son who just graduated high school standing along with my mother. My son is going to be a police officer and his college major is criminal justice.



The above picture shows four generations. My wonderful mother, two daughters, two adorable grandchildren, and my husband.



Now isn't that the cutest face you have ever seen.

This is Janiya my granddaughter, who is 6 years old, very smart & one of Nana's pride and joy.

Could this be a suicide?

Ok you tell me, my children tell me this song is about his suicide do you agree? I did not think so. So who is right the children or myself?

Mysterious Ways?

You know God works in mysterious ways and I had an experience that I just had to share which proves my point about Gods work.

One day after coming back from the store with my daughter (when she was much younger) we came upon a man waiting by the bus stop. At first glance I knew we must help him in anyway we could; and what do we tell our children when they are growing up never talk to strangers’ right? Well not in this case it was something you just could not ignore even if you tried. With that being said I told my daughter to get in the back seat and pray for us to have a safe journey with the man we did not know.

The man looked as though he had fallen and was trying to get up because he was on one knee, elderly, slender and frail looking. He had a patch over his left eye and it seemed to be draining and flowed from under the patch. He explained that he not long ago had eye surgery and that every once in a while it would have some seepage. So I asked if he was okay and if he needed a ride home he replied, ‘Yes I could use a ride and thank you for your kindness.” I helped the man into the car and got in myself and asked him where he was going. It turned out that he lived right behind my parent’s house and I was going home anyway so it was not out of the way. Now get this, he was at the bus stop that went in the opposite direction of where he needed to go; this poor man was in a bad way.

I turned down his street which was a two way street, but he lived on the other side so I needed to make a u-turn to place him right in front of his house. Instead the gentleman said oh no please you are fine and you have done enough for me this is ok I will walk across the street. Seeing how this just did not settle with me I told him oh no worry I do not mind turning around so you do not have to walk and it is no trouble for me at all. The man I did not know insisted so I let him out and before departed he gave me a fifty dollar bill for just going a few blocks. I told him oh no need for that it was my pleasure to help you and you do not need to pay me anything. Again insisting he left the bill on the car seat and closed the door and said thank you and left. I was in tears.

Once I got to the corner I did not feel right leaving him the way I did so I turned around and speed back to see that he made it to the house but he was gone. Mind you it took me less than a minute to turn around and he was gone. Explain that! Remember I said he was elderly and frail a man with only one Seeing Eye where could he have gone that quickly. We even went through the alley way to see if he was in the back and there was no one. Unbelievable!

Well this story is not over yet, the very next day I got a flat tire and I needed a new one and I would not have had any money to buy one if I had not meet the man I did not know. Now that you have got goose bumps maybe you can return the favor and share what God has done for you. This was a true story.

Thanks for reading and God loves you.

Oooooh!

We live in an awesome world.
Make it an awesome day.
Peace To All and May God Bless You
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

God First

It's a POWERFUL PRAYER! When you are DOWN to nothing ... God is UP to something'

Father, in the Name of Jesus, bless me even while I'm reading this prayer and bless the one that sent this to me in a special way. Open doors in our lives today, Save and set free!

Give us a double portion of your Spirit as we take back everything that the devil has stolen:

****Emotional Health

****Physical Health

****Finances

****Relationships

****Children

****Jobs

****Homes

****Marriages

I cancel every plot, plan and scheme the enemy has devised Against us in the NAME OF JESUS. And I declare:

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST US WILL

PROSPER. I speak LIFE into every dead situation. And, I thank you that nothing is over until YOU say it's over! Speak prophetically into our lives and to our situations:

****our households are blessed;

**** our health is blessed;

**** our marriages are blessed;

**** our finances are blessed;

**** our relationships are blessed;

**** our businesses are blessed;

**** our jobs are blessed;

**** our children are blessed;

**** our grandchildren are blessed;

**** our parents are blessed;

**** our siblings are blessed;

**** our ministries are blessed;

**** our decisions are blessed;

**** our friends are blessed.

**** Mortgages are paid and debts canceled; our hearts' desires are on the way; According to YOUR perfect will and plan for our lives.

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORSAKE US! IN

JESUS' NAME!

AMEN!

Say this prayer, and then send it to EVERYBODY YOU KNOW.

Within hours countless people will have prayed for you, and you will have caused a multitude of people to pray to God for each other 'Safety is not the absence of danger, but is the presence of God'

A kid asked Jesus... How much do u love me? Jesus replied, 'I love! You this much.' and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If you believe in God, you will send this to everyone on your list. I like you because of who you are to me.

This is not a fake...apparently. ..copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10 min. And you will have one of the best days of your life tomorrow!!!

Wax, Soap, or Clay

Can you guess what was you used to make these beautiful carvings?

Is it
A - Wax
B - Clay
C - Soap

Can I borrow $25.00

I am not the author of this writing, my aunt sent this to me in a e-mail and I thought it was so nice I wanted to share it with you all just in time for Fathers Day.

Can I Borrow $25?

Can I borrow $25?
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year
Old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's n one of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the
Man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
Hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can
Borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you
March yourself straight to your room and go to bed.Think about why
You are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish
Frivolities.' The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's
Questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to
Think: maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that

$25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went
To the door of the little boy's room and opened the door, 'Are you
Asleep, son?' He asked. 'No, daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the
Man. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.
Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!'
He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled
Up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get
Angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then
Looked up at his father. 'Why do you want more money if you already
Have some?' the father grumbled. Because I didn't have enough, but
Now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an
Hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to
Have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
Begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you
Working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers
Without having spent some time with those who really matter to
Us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of
Your time with someone you love.


If we die tomorrow, the company that we are

working for could easily replace us in a matter

of hours. But the family & friends we leave

Behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Want No More Stress

Okay that’s it no more stress people, ENOUGH!

Did you know that a lot of times we create our own stress, oh yes – we do. Think about it we let people at work get to us, road rage, family members, friends and many other things that can get to us. Well I am here to tell you let that stress go right now. You don’t need it. Look do not let anyone still a part of you that is going to give you grief. It is not worth it. Ok ok I can almost hear what some of you guys are saying; it’s easier said than done. Oh, but yes it is easy, let that person go who speed in front of you go it’s ok you are still going to get to your destination so let them go. Gas is too costly to chase them down.

Person on the job made you made; please, let them be mad alone you can get the promotion by keeping your cool and then you can fire them. Ha ha, no don’t do that just kidding. In case you did not know the best revenge is living well.

I know everyone’s life can be very difficult at times and when we need to unload some super heavy burdens then we need to take it to the Man up stairs. Leave it there and put an end to that heavy stuff.

Look people the Oxford dictionary define stress as “1. Pressure or tension exerted on a material object 2. Demand on physical or mental energy”. Notice number 1 states on a object – we are not objects and number 2 says mental energy well – turn your energy to something positive for a mental and physical well being.

Okay now I am going to give you the true definition of stress. READY, here it is:

Stress:

Stop

To

Remove

Every

Stumbling

Stone

How do you do that you asking? Well if you have to imagine yourself doing this fine just do it.

• Ask God for guidance
• Sit on the floor with a basket
• Get all of your stones that are causing stress
• Write on each stone what the stressor is
• One by one place them into the basket and then dump them into the TRASH literally

REMEMBER:

STOP TO REMOVE EVERY STUMBLING STONE

ENDS STRESS.

Strive to rejoice understand grow gain love everyday

Life can be a struggle; and we all go through rough patches at times including those that might be well to do. Just because one might be wealthy does not mean they are exempt from having struggles.

We all are having a struggle with the rising cost of gas now at the $4 mark. The other day I went to get gas and noticed a young lady filling up nearing $80.00; and she had yet to finish pumping. So yes, life can be a struggle in a variety of ways; the gas was just one example.

But we were all meant to struggle right? Jesus suffered. Maybe we should look at the struggle in this way:

Strive

To

Rejoice

Understand

Grow

Gain

Love

Everyday

Then the struggle of life might not be so bad

Hope Circle's

Day I
Since there are so many people in need and the world being in the state it is in, not to mention gas prices I thought of starting a circle of hope. Please Help Me!
What you need to start:
5 Friends
1 Jar
$1.00
Here is what you do:
Start off with your circle of friends of five, appoint one to be the leader of the circle - each friend place $1.00 into the jar. Then ask if anyone in that circle needs the $5.00. If the answer is no then the leader of the first circle of hope will create another circle of hope and appoint another leader. Those persons will then add to the 5.00 now making $10.00 and so on and so forth.

The Hope is that the circles will become so large that by the time there is a friend that is in need that they will have enough to help them out.
Please lets help one step at a time one day at a time we can pass along hope and help and offer peace to one another.

I have started my circle as well; I will not ask anything that I will not do myself. God bless you all

Check in tomorrow for our Day II of Care; Stay Tuned and if you do reply to this message please list the state in which you started.

Lori

It's time for Joy, Peace and well being

Here are 10 ways to add years to your life:

1. Smile often
2. Do something that will makes someone else happy
3. Share laughter daily
4. Make sure that you do get in some time for yourself
   
5. Find something you really love to do and make time to do it - create a hobby
6. Play with the grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or cousins and spoil them because children give the greatest joy - then you can give them back LOL
7. Stay away from anything negative
8. Never argue with ignorance
9. Share your strength with a friend or family member when they have none
10. Write down everything that you are grateful for on a daily basis and then look back when you are feeling down; you will find your life is truly filled with joy